Description For
BAKAR ANIYA
"Juma'a Bayan La'asar"
(Friday After Asr):
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FRIDAY AFTER ASR
Hauwa’u said:
“God has blessed me with a generous, just, and wise husband. Because of this, I have the freedom to ride any car in his compound, to the point where people see me as someone wealthy. And yet, he never shows even the slightest dismay over his children. His constant desire is to see us well-off and progressing. What he cannot tolerate is seeing us in shabby clothing—he’d rather scold us for it. Unlike some rich men who, when they see you're trying to improve yourself, take it as if you're working against them or becoming arrogant by associating with them. Such people would force you to remain in poverty, just to mark you as a humble family member—or else, they’ll reject you.
Even with that, I advise you, Auwal, never to relax under another person’s authority. Whether there’s conflict or not, death exists—and so does unexpected change. Strive to own a home and establish a trade, for our future.
Because now, look, the days until our wedding are almost here. Once the marriage is finalized, the responsibilities on you will multiply. You see, for now you don’t pay rent. But if you marry me, you will. Right now, you only care for your parents, but once you’re married, that changes. And it’s not just about food. There’s clothing, healthcare… and soon after the marriage, you’ll hear a child is born. Then the burden increases—so do the needs, even though your income remains stagnant since you're salaried. If you take this lightly, we might wake up one day with seven children, all living in a rented house.”
She looked at him as he remained silent, listening. The way he quickly turned his head and the expression he wore when she said that last line—it made her burst into laughter.
“May God protect us,” he said.
“Well then, may God protect you too. I’ve already given you my advice. All those ceremonial plans you're making, which aren’t obligatory in religion—it’s better to focus on paying the bride price alone. If you wish, you can include the money you've been saving to print calendars, fatiha invitations, or buy a small plot of land. Later, when things settle, you can start building gradually.
But if you choose to do things to impress people, you’ll find yourself lost. Trying to avoid gossip, yet you'll still be criticized no matter what you do. Those public gatherings you see with their praise and applause—they are short-lived. People will scatter and leave you with your situation. You won’t realize your mistake until you're in distress. Then, when you look back at those gatherings, you won’t find the same people who once hyped you up. They’ll be the first to mock you.
Auwal, have you never seen a man with a family and strength reduced to begging—crying that he has nothing to feed his family, all because of this jobless situation we’re facing? Do you think that man never hosted guests or did good for others before falling into hardship? Why didn’t any of them help him with capital or a job? Do things on your own, Auwal. Anything not done sincerely for God's sake is showing off—it carries no reward, only loss and misfortune.”
He went quiet for a moment. Her words had sunk in.
“What you’re saying is true,” he admitted. “But now, will you be able to handle it if people say I didn’t buy you this or that for the wedding? That I didn’t buy you proper bridal gifts? Aren’t you afraid of people’s gossip?”
“Yes, I’ve seen and heard enough—as long as we can block that future I envision. I have a strong desire to have many children, if only to be among those who contribute to the growth of the Prophet’s nation—so he can take pride in us on Judgment Day. I do not wish for my children to be stigmatized for growing up in rented homes or to be denied housing because they’re many. I don’t want them to be weighed down by our responsibilities when they’re supposed to be studying, and end up dropping out to earn money instead.
I accept whatever hardship or lack we face now—so our children can grow up with proper care and a better life.”
“Hauwa’u, I understand you, and I’ve taken your words to heart. But even so, that doesn’t stop me from wanting to buy you bridal gifts. Providing for your wife is part of the responsibilities of marriage. But about having many children—I don’t support you on that, especially with the current situation. I personally believe, based on my reasoning and the evidence I rely on, that those who practice birth control are not at fault.”
Auwal, don’t you want children?” she asked, holding her mouth in surprise. Her expression changed.
“That’s not what I mean, Hauwa’u. What I mean is, considering the situation our country Nigeria is in, I don’t want to have many children if I can’t afford to take care of them. Two children are enough for me for now. If God blesses us later, then we can have more—just like in marriage, I only plan to marry one wife.”
Even then, Tasne was still filled with amazement.
“Based on what reasoning, Auwal? Have you forgotten that it is God who grants wealth, who feeds, who gives and takes life? And what about the hadith I mentioned earlier—that the Prophet will be proud of our numbers on the Day of Judgment? That’s why he encouraged us to marry and have many children.
That hadith is authentic, and I’m not trying to reject it. But the obligation can be relaxed in times of necessity. Truly, it is God who enriches and provides. My point is: God Almighty has blessed our country Nigeria with countless resources, more than many other nations. Most countries envy our underground minerals, like crude oil. But today in Nigeria, selfishness, greed, and lack of patriotism have consumed us. We've clung to oil as the backbone of our wealth and livelihood because of weak foresight and inability to plan for the consequences.”
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