blamed everything on her nayi blaming nata akan laifin da ba ita ta aikata ba I’m so sorry I hope we meet in the future saboda in nemi gafararki. Tun rananda abun ya faru na rasa sukuni a rayuwa, I’ve been living a life of guilt. Kullum cikin mafarkin ta nake I don’t know ko tana raye ko ta mutu saboda sautin kukan ta da suke min yawo akai har a yau. Bansan wani erin k’uncin rayuwa na tusa ta ciki ba, believe me wallahi I had no intention of doing so to your precious life. I was densed, stupid and young lokacin my past kept on hunting me sanadin abinda Ummimi tamin my own MOTHER._
_Da yammacin ranar Asabar, 23rd March 2012_


Dakata karatun tayi “Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi raj’un!” ta furta cike da rashin yarda tana kad’a kai take idanunta suka cike da hawaye rawa jikinta ke sosai yana bata wai itace wannan yarinyan da Anas yake nufi itace wacce *_TAKE TARE DA SHI_* a kullum “Ya Allah karka tabbatar min da abinda nake zato 23rd March shine ranar da aka k’wace min budurcina aka rabani da martabana na k’arfi da yaji.” Hawayenta ne ya d’iga kan page d’in a yayinda tayi k’arfin hali ta cigaba da karantawa.

_I wrecked a 15 years old girl, nayi raping ‘yar yarinyar da bansan wace ita ba, bansan ya take ba bansan kotana raye kota mutu ba yanzu. Her words are forever stocked in my head._

_“Dan girman Allah bawan Allah kayi hak’uri I beg of you please. Bawan Allah dan Allah kayi hak’uri I'm just 15 ba abinda zan iya baka have mercy on me please dan Allah.”_

Rufe littafin tayi cike da tashin hankali a yayinda hawaye ke ambaliya a fuskarta kanta yana wani irin juyi ga kuma wani jirin da ta soma ji yana neman d’ibanta tabbas bara tab’a mancewa da wad’annan kalamu ba. Kalamun data ta nanata wa mutumin dayayi raping nata haka tata rok’ansa amman haka ba imani ba tsorom Allah ya danne ta yayi raping nata. Kasa rik’eta k’afafunta sukayi ta sauk’a k’asa se “Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi raj’un” take ta nanatawa. Wani irin k’ara ta saki “Wayyo Allah! Anas... Anas ne mutumin, I married the man who raped me, I fell in love with the man who raped me, mutumin danata had’asa da Allah karya k’wace min budurcina amman yak’i koda tausaya min haka ya danne ni ya amshe min martaba. I married the man who made my life miserable, mutumin daya juya min rayuwa ya raba dani da first love d’ina AHAMD bawan Allan da yasoni tsakani da Allah, na auri mutumin da yayi sandanin rashin lafiyan mahaifina, mutumin daya jefa min rayuwa cikin k’unci da bak’in cikin rayuwa, mutumin daya sani cikin tsoro kowani dare sena tashi ina kuka ina mafarki ze dawo ya sake azabar dani kamar yadda yayi a baya. Innalillahi wa inna-” bata k’are salatin ba wani erin masifaffen kuka cike da azaba ya rufe ta, ihu take sosai wasu irin zafaffun hawaye suna ambaliya a fuskarta se juyi take kan rug d’in (k’aramin carpet) ji take kamar ranta ze fita, wannan wace erin rayuwa ce?

“No this can’t be Ya Allah kasa mafarki ne wayyooo!! this can’t be happening mesa ban tab’a gane shine wanda yayi raping d’ina ba? Am I that stupid da har na fad’a soyayya da mugun mutumin daya cuceni har abada? Taya tun rananda naga wancan babban ciwon dake hannunsa na kasa gane a ina na tab’a gani? Taya nakasa recognising blue eyes nasa Why am I stupid?” Kai take kad’awa a yayinda kukan ta ya tsananta har wani sama sama nishinta yake tafi minti talatin tana kuka kamar wacce ta zare, idanunta sunfi jan kala shiga rabuwanta da tashin hankali irin wannan tun lokacin da abin ya faru. A sannu a sannu ta rarrafa wajen drawer’n ta miyar masa da littafin ciki har ayanzu kuka take ba makawa da k’yar ta ja kanta d’akinta tasa key ta rufe sannan ta baje kan gado, d’aurin kan nata ta sinche tasake k’urma wani irin balad’ad’d’en ihu tana jan bedsheet na kan gadon tana duk’unk’unewa a hannunta. “Anas mesa zaka min haka? Mena maka? Mesa seni? I thought I could trust you Anas why does it have to be this way? Wayyo Allah wayyo kaina.” ta rik’o kanta dan wani erin ciwon fitan hankalin da yake mata. “I married a monster. Ya Allah tanan ka kamani akan qaryan danayi ma iyaye na nasasu suka amince auren soyayya mukayi da Anas? Ya Allah na tuba kayafemin badan hali na. This is a dream ba reality bane it can’t be it just can’t be.”

Kuka Fannah ke kamar zata cire ranta har cewa take a ranta ina ma Allah ya d’auki ranta kawai ta huta dukda tasan yin hakan haramun ne, amma kuma da living irin wannan rayuwa gara mutuwa, bayi ma Allah shisshigi ba amman mesa rayuwarta take haka? Daidai lokacin data sama wa zuciyarta sukuni ta fara son Anas hakan ze faru why? Why? Kuka ta cigaba da yi ciwo kanta yake mata kamar ze tsage amman still tak’i barin kukan tun hawaye na zuba har hawayen nata ma yayi seizing, shima muryan nata ya d’auke dan irin ihun data riga yi amma haka tacigaba da kukan ba sauti saboda rashin tausayawa kanta. Wannan wace erin jarabawa ce? Ka auri mutumin da yayi raping naka ba nan kad’ai ba har ka soma son meshi. Wace erin k’addara ce haka?


“Zama na a gidan nan ya k’are barin iya cigaba da rayuwa da mutumin daya rabani da farin cikin rayuwa naba, barin iya cigaba da rayuwa da kai ba Anas.” Murmushin takaici ta saki “mesa ma nake son sanar dakai sirrina bayan kafi kowa sani? Bayan kafini ni karan kaina sanin wannan sirrin, nayi sakaci da sallolin dare da addu’o’i na shiyaza har na aureka ban gane kaba. Anas abinda kamin is UNFORGIVABLE ka dawo ka sallameni kawai inkuma barakayi ba in tattara kayakina inbar maka gidanka I can’t continue living you with Allah kad’ai yasan abinda zaka iya min nan gaba.”



_4:21PM_

Daidai nan Anas yake dawowa daga office cikin jin dad’i ya miyar da k’ofar ya rufe, he can’t wait ya sa Flowersa a ido. Flasks yaga suna masa sallama kan dining table wanda kobe bud’e ba yasan favorite nasa ne ciki ba abinda yakeyi aransa banda sawa Fannah albarka besan ya rayuwarsa zata kasance ba Flowersa ba. Kitchen yauma yasoma lek’awa beganta ba daga chan yayi d’akinsa. Murmushi ya saki danko yanada tabbacin a d’akinta take. Bayan ya rage kayan jikinsa ya nufa d’akinta sede tun daga nesa yakeji kamar sautin kukan mutum... Kukan mace... Kukan Fannah OMG! “Flower” a rikice ya kira sunanta ya k’arisa k’ofar d’akin ya gwada bud’ewa suprisingly yaga a rufe da lock. Tana jin k’ara ta miyar da kallonta kan k’ofan.


“Fannah! Fannah! Open up please mesa kike kuka? Dan Allah stop it kitaso ki bud’e min k’ofan please.” Kukan nata ne ya tsananta daga jin muryarsa. “OMG! Fannah whats wrong? Why are you crying dan Allah ki bud’e” yayi stating cike da tashin hankali bare iya jure kukan flowersa ba meya sameta? Meyasa take irin wannan matsanancin kukan? Bubbuga k’ofan yake da k’arfin da Allah yabasa amman yakasa b’alla gun lock d’in dake security door ne.


Tana tsugune a k’asa se kuka take sha kamar ba gobe.
“Dang it!” Ya buga k’ofar a fusace se a yanzu ya tuna da akoi spare key a 360 ya wuce d’akinsa yaje ya binciko ya ciro da sauri ya dawo yasa ya bud’e k’ofar. Da gudu ya nufi k’asa inda ya ganta ko d’ago kai ta kalle sa batai ba tsugunawan yayi shima a gabanta cike da tashin hankali da tsantsan tausayi. “Flower” ya kira sunanta cikin sanyin murya cike da tausayi. “Flower dan Allah kibar kukan nan please ya isa dan Allah” ya sanar da ita muryarsa har shaking yake dan tausayi. Ko d’ago kai ta kallesa batai ba se kuka take ba makawa hannu yasa ya dafe kafad’arta hannunsa na tab’a ta ta d’ago kai a firgice ta matsa baya sekace taga aljani. Beso sake ganin fuskarta ba dan yadda ya kumbura gakuma wani irin mahaukacin jan da idanunta sukayi besan seda idanwansa shima suka cike da hawaye ba.

“Fannah why are you crying like this? Meya sameki?” Hannunta ya gwada rik’ewa a firgice taja baya tana matsawa baya daga garesa ganin haka yace, “Fannah Anas ne ba mutumin ba, kinji?” gabad’aya yagama zato ko mafarkin mutumin data sabayi ne tayi take irin wannan wahalallen kukan. Kai kawai take girgiza masa. “Its me Anas your husband bawani ba come kinji?” kai ta kad’a masa ike da tsoro daga gawani irin kallon da take masa. A guje ta ruga bayi tasa key ta rufe a gujen shima yabi bayanta cike da tashin hankali. “Fannah meya faru dan Allah?” Jikinsa ne ya soma basa ba mafarki tayi ba to mene neh? Ko rasuwa akayi mata? Amman ai in rasuwa ne da shima za’a kirasa a sanar dashi.


“Fannah I beg of you dan Allah kibud’e please.” Sautin kukanta ta tsananta tana tsugune k’asan bayin se kuka take kamar zata cire ranta. K’ofar yake ta bugawa ba yadda beyi ba dan b’allawa amman ya kasa besan lokacin da hawaye tsili-tsili suka soma gangaro masa kan kumatu ba. Da kukan Fannah ya gommaci yarasa duk wani abinda ya mallaka a duniya.
Daga k’arshe ma kasa rik’esa k’afafunsa sukayi sauk’a yayi har k’asa hannun sa dafe jikin k’ofar “Fannah koda baraki bud’e k’ofan ba please kibar kukan dan Allah kibari I can’t take it please I beg you.”
Har ayanzu batajin zata iya dena kukan ba. “Fannah dan Allah fa nace kibar kukan please ya isa haka nasan kinada qwararran dalilin dayasa kike haka becuase I trust you Fannah and I love you please come out kinji? Barin bar nan ba sena gankin Flower” ba irin rok’ar duniyan da be mata ba amman sam tak’i bud’e k’ofar. Ga wani irin masifaffen yunwan dake cinta rabuwanta da abinci tun breakfast gara shi Anas d’in yachi lunch a office. Har Maghrib suna nan ahaka ganin lokacin Sallah ya shiga yayi k’arfin hali yace, “Fannah kifito kiyi Sallah kinji? Nasan koda zan had’a sama da k’asa bara ki bari in ja muba so kifito kiyi naki nima zanje inyi nawa, I love you.” Yana kaiwa nan ya fice seda ta jiyo k’aran rufe k’ofa sannan ta dage ta yi alwala har wani dashi dashi take gani dan ciwon kai dakuma tsantsan yunwa. Cike da tsoro ta bud’o k’ofan bayin kad’an ganin baya cikin d’akin ta d’an taka da wuri ta zaro spare key ta bayan k’ofar ta sake locking abinta yadda bare iya shigowa ba again.


Yin Sallan kawai take badan tasan me take karantowa ciki ba dan tashin hankali ko raka’a uku tayi ko had’u tayi bata sani ba se Allah shima Anas ta b’angaren sa haka ne. Yana sallamewa ya d’ibi hanyansa back to d’akinta nanma yaga ta kuma rufewa gashi ta zare spare key d’in. Kai gaskia ba lafiya ba what is wrong with Fannah? why is she acting thsi way? Ko an mata wani abu ne? The real question is ko nine na mata wani abu bisa rashin sani. Tsayawa yayi yana nazarin abubuwa sam bai tunanin da akoi aami abinda ya mata wanda za’a ce shi yayi hurting feelings nata haka. Barin maganar zucin yayi a haka “Fannah nasan kina jina I don’t know what got into you sabida ban tab’a ganin ki a yanayi irin na yau ba ko abinci kink’i chi tun d’azu nake miki magana amman kink’i tankani I can’t take it anymore. Please in wani abun na miki wanda yayi hurting naki haka I’m sorry kiyi hak’uri dan Allah ki sanar dani na zauna nayi tunanin duniyan nan amman na kasa tuna koda abu d’ayan dana miki da zesa ki shareni haka yau har ki rufe kanki a d’aki. I’m sorry I’m truely sorry ko abinchi ne kifito kichi not for my sake but for your health’s, I love you.” Ya sanar da ita cikin cracky voice yana kaiwa nan ya wuce d’akinsa ko maybe intaji alamun ba motsinsa zata fito.


Kalamunsa masu narkar mata da zuciya taji bata k’aunar sake sauraronsu ko k’arfin kuka batada. 20 minutes later bayan ta tabbata baya bakin k’ofar ta mik’e tana dafe dafe har ta isa bakin k’ofar ta bud’e a hankali, leqawa tayi da kyau bata ganshi ba sannan ta sa kai tajeta dining area ta d’ibo abinci kad’an kan plate ga yunwa har yunwa amman ba tajin zata iya chin abincin ma. Ruwa ta cido daga fridge d’in takama hanyan komawa d’akinta gabanta ne yayi mumunan fad’i ganin Anas da tayi tsaye jikin k’ofar d’akinta, data kallesa seta gano yayi kuka shima. Toh kukan meh kuma zeyi bayan abinda ya mata shekaru had’u koma tace biyar da suka wuce. Kai ta soma kad’awa take hawayen ta da sukayi seizing suka soma sauk’owa. A hankali take ja da baya baya wane taga aljani.


“Fannah please why are you doing this?” Ya tambayeta cikin wani irin salo. “Mesa Flower? Meya faru? In ni na miki wani abun I’m sorry dan Allah ki sanar dani mistake nawan se in gyara kefa kike cemin a baya silence is never the solution to a problem amman kuma kikeyi yau please talk to me.” Kai still take kad’a masa ga wani irin b’arin data soma yi hawaye se ambaliya suke kan kumatunta. Taku ya soma yana nufanta.
Takasa furta koda ‘A’ se baya baya take har ta isa jikin bango bebar binta ba alokacin da ya rage saura befi taku uku tsakaninsu ba nishinta ya soya tsabagen b’arin da hannunta suke batasan lokacin da ta sake plate da gorar ruwan a k’asa ba. “Tata tas!!” kukeji k’aran fashewar glass.




*© MIEMIEBEE*


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[12:57, 12/18/2016] ‪+234 903 612 6826‬: •° ★°•❣🎀❣🎀 •°•★•°• °•★•° °• •°
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*TANA TARE DANI...*👫


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*_written by miemiebee👄_*

In dedication to *Aunty Sis💕*
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Miyan kap jikinta ya zube shima Anas yad’an tab’a sa kad’an. Irin rikicewa da b’arin da Fannah keyi ko gamo mutum yayi da aljan bareyi irinsa ba take ta tsuguna tasoma tattarawa abinda Anas ya tsana kenan ya washi yaganta tana picking broken glasses da hannu. Kafin yace tabari ko ya d’aga ta aikin gama ya riga ya gama kyat! Ta yanke a yatsanta k’ara sosai ta saki kamar a kyaftawan ido ya k’ariso gabanta hannayensa na sauk’a akan jikinta ta tsala wani irin rikicaccen ihun da shi kansa seda ya firgita.


“Fannah please what is wrong with you? Anas nefa ba wani ba, its Anas your husband mesa kike haka da zaran na tab’aki ki rikice? Muga hannun” da zaran ya matso ze tab’a ta seta sa ihu ko magana takasa masa duk tabi ta tsure ta gefensa tabi da gudu da sauri ya cafko ta da hannu ya dawo da ita baya.
“Fannah what is your problem why are you acting like this? Mena miki kike gudu na kamar kinga mala’ikan d’aukan rai, what is it tell me?!” Ya k’are maganar cikin sautin tsawa saboda he can’t take it anymore taya matarsa zata na gudunsa haka. Hannun nata take ta k’ok’irin fisga amman takasa hawaye kam sekace lalacaccen famfo.

Bright blue eyes nasa da suka zamanto dull and weak dan tsantsan tashin hankali ya d’agosu a maraice yana kallonta se k’ok’arin karb’an hannunta take amman takasa. “Fannah mena miki? Ki fad’a min please, OMG!” Yayi exclaiming alokacin dayaga yadda jinin jikinta ke zuba a k’asa. Hannunta yasoma ja zuwa d’akinsa. Sam tak’i bud’e baki ta masa magana se hawayen da takeyi ganin sunkusan kai ga d’akinsa ta ja hannunta da k’arfin da Allah yabata seda ta fisge daga rik’onsa. “Fannah please don’t go…” bata ko sauraresa ba ta ruga d’akinta a guje tare da sa lock.
Har k’asa ya sauk’a wasu irin zafaffun hawaye na maza suna sauk’owa tsili-tsili a fuskarsa. “Why Fannah? Mena miki? Your silence is killing me why are you punishing me like this?” Itama Fannar ba abinda take banda kuka, wanke ciwon nata tayi se kuka take ga wani irin yunwan dake azabartar da ita batajin zata iya kwana inbatasa wani abu acikinta ba. Rarrafawa